Still Holding On
by Harryfan626
Summary: Set from before Idiots Lantern to an AU reunion a song fic about the Doctor and Rose's changes and finally confessing their love after broken promises.


Disclaimer: Doctor Who is not mine, nor is Broken.

A/N: From just before the Idiots Lantern ending with an AU Doctor/Rose Reunion. This is a song fic, the song is Broken by Lifehouse. I've been working on this all day so I hope you like it!

**Still Holding On**

_The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight_

_Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time_

_I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

Rose rolled over in her bed, tangling herself in her pink blanket; she stared at the clock in front of her bright red numbers stuck at 11:11, always. They had been stuck like that since she had gotten a room from the TARDIS and the Doctor set the TARDIS flying away from the Powell Estate into time and space at that exact minute. She knew she should be asleep; the Doctor always woke her up early. Early being a relative term seeing as there really was not any time in the TARDIS. Rolling over to her back she looked up at the ceiling, staring at the glow and the dark stars thinking. A small smile formed on her lips as she remembered putting them up. It was when the Doctor was still big eared and wearing leather, it was her third night with him and she awkwardly confessed to him how the darkness of her room frightened her, making her feel young and stupid. A massive smile split his face and he told her he had just the idea.

Standing on her new bed they worked together, scattering the glow and the dark solar system stickers all over the ceiling. Splitting up, they began climbing on the empty desk and dressed, both trying to artistically place stars in as many places as possible. They met on her bed again and she looked up at him beaming. As he smiled down at her his eyes slowly darkened and she saw a shadow return to his eyes that was there when ever she looked away, leaving the room he told her to meet him in the consol room when she woke up. Rose lay in bed that night much like she was at that moment, thinking about how broken the Doctor was and she wanted to make him better. He had already made her better, after just one trip. Rose already liked the Doctor then, now she was in love and she had yet to figure out if he loved her. Pulling the blanket up to her head Rose covered her face and let out a sigh, it was all so confusing.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart that's still beating_

_In the pain, there is healing_

_In your name I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on, I'm holding on, I'm holding on_

_I'm barely holding on to you_

The Doctor slid his hands through his hair, causing it to stick up more so than it already did. He was so glad that Rose was asleep so he could finally let his cover down, for once the almighty Time Lord did not know what to do. He had fallen in love with the little human shop girl who had no A-levels but one fantastic future. How could he tell Rose he was in love with her? A few months ago he had left her on a Fifty-First Century Space ship as he crashed through a mirror into France in the Seventeen-hundreds. He didn't know if she had forgiven him for that, for not thinking about her or Mickey. And Mickey…he ran his hands through his hair again, tousling it more. He had let Mickey stay in an alternate universe, a nice way to get rid of his competition but not to win Rose's forgiveness. The two of them, the Doctor and Rose, had only started traveling again since spending a month with Jackie, two weeks ago. The Doctor could not just jump Rose now and confess his love, not after how broken she had been. But how broken can one be when their heart is beating? The Doctor knew the answer to that question before it was asked. He had nine hundred years of experience and he didn't want to mess up with Rose, not when he felt like he was barely holding onto her.

_The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head  
>I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead<br>I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
>That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life.<em>

It had taken her face. The monster had taken Rose's face, ripped her soul from her body, just leaving an empty shell wearing Rose's pink dress and matching heels with her blonde hair still pinned back but none of the lovely Rose inside. The Doctor stepped forward, studying what was left of his Rose, nothing. His eyes instantly darkened and his demeanor changed. His voice deepened, becoming raggedy and threatening.

"The street. They left her in the street. They took her face, and just chucked her out and left her in the street. And as a result, that makes things... simple. Very, very, simple. Do you know why?" The Doctor was nearly shaking as he tried to contain his fury.

The Detective Inspector shook his head and stammered, terrified from the intense emotions radiating off the Doctor, "No."

"Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop," The Doctor was shouting now, he ripped off his glasses and set a furious glare upon Bishop, "there is no power on this earth that can stop me!"

As the Doctor angrily stormed through the streets of London Rose's face was constantly shinning in his mind, the smile she would flash him with her tongue poking out between her teeth and her musical laugh. There was a whisper in the back of his head that he might not see it again and he was terrified. The Detective Inspector could tell, or at least he could tell the Doctor was furious beyond words and he was ready to tear the world apart. He had to; he would do anything to save Rose. She had striped down his walls, unlocked his locked off emotions and she read him even when he tried to hide things. His hearts pounding against his chest, he felt his heart crumble, it was then that the Doctor vowed he would tell Rose he loved her if…_when _she got her face back.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
>with a broken heart that's still beating<br>In the pain (in the pain), is there healing  
>In your name (in your name) I find meaning<br>So I'm holding on (I'm still holding), I'm holding on (I'm still holding), I'm holding on (I'm still holding)  
>I'm barely holding on to you<em>

Rose could not breathe. The rocket was taking off, flying away from Krop Tor, leaving the Doctor alone in the pit stranded. He could be dead or dying and she was flying away leaving him. She slid down against the seat back, holding onto the armrest. Maybe it would be better to die on Krop Tor, with the Doctor in the middle and her above ground, instead of living the rest of her life stuck in the wrong time. She slid further down the seat, it wasn't being stuck in the wrong time that bothered her it was being stuck in the wrong time _without the Doctor. _Rose closed her eyes for a moment as she fought the urge to cry.

Suddenly the rocket started shaking, lights were flashing and there were sirens blaring. Zack was screaming that they were falling into the black hole, Danny was just screaming but it was Toby who was the worst. He was the monster again. The lost language of Krop Tor was tattooed all over his body and his eyes were blood red.

Toby spoke with the voice of the monster he was breathing fire and he was thrashing around against the seat belt,"I am the rage and the vile and the voracity. I am the Prince and the Fallen. I am the Enemy, I am the Sin and the fear and darkness. I shall never die. The thought of me is forever; in the bleeding hearts of men, in their vanity and obsecrate and lust. Nothing shall ever destroy me. Nothing!"

Looking around desperately Rose's eyes fell upon the gun, she grabbed it, aimed at the window and hissed, "Go to hell." Once she pulled the trigger she leaned over Toby and unbuckled him, he was sucked out into open space, towards the black hole and his death. Blonde hair blowing around her face Rose clung to the chair against the force of the wind until the back up shields came up. Panting she slid down against the seat. Vaguely she heard Zack say something about flying into a black hole and hearing, Rose didn't care though, Krop Tor had been sucked into the black whole, the Doctor was dead. She hadn't held tight enough.

With a jerk the rocket slowly turned away from the black hole, they were going to live. "This is the good ship TARDIS, is there a Rose Tyler aboard?" A voice came on the intercom, it was the Doctor. Uncontrollably, Rose began to laugh. He was alive, she was alive, they both survived!

Rose threw the doors of the TARDIS open, and rushed in. He stood there, merely a few feet away very much alive. She held herself against the now closed door for a second, thanking every fake god and bad god and demi-god and would-be god, the whole pantheon, that they were both well and in the TARDIS again. Suddenly Rose was running and in less than a minute she was wrapped in the Doctor's arms. He lifted her off her feet, swinging her around, both of them with massive grins on their faces as they laughed at the sheer insanity that by chance they were alive. In his arms she held on, after all that had happened all she could do was hold on to him.

Standing in the console room, the Doctor Back in his suit, Rose finally breathing again he smiled down at her, "Oh, the stuff of legends." The Doctor replied to Ida Scott as he sent the TARDIS into the time vortex. Smiling up at the Doctor Rose vowed the next chance she got she would tell the Doctor she loved him.

_I'm hanging on another day_

_Just to see what you throw my way_

_And I'm hanging on to the words you say_

_You said that I will be OK_

"Hold on!" The Doctor screamed, but she couldn't. The pull was to strong, the void was calling towards her, tugging at all the void stuff that was on her, slowly ripping her away from the Doctor. As her fingers slipped from the lever the Doctor screamed her name but there was nothing either of them could do. It was too late, she was falling, flying, soaring towards the void. And then Pete was there, and she was holding on again, but not to her Doctor instead it was her father. Then she was gone.

Despite all the people around her Rose was alone again. She tried holding on, she clung to Tony for life and he gave her something but she just felt so empty. Without the Doctor Rose had no idea how to live her everyday life, it wasn't the ordinary life that was her problem; it was having an ordinary life without the Doctor. She couldn't be without him and now she could never see him again.

He wanted her to have a fantastic life, to enjoy the one adventure he could never have but she couldn't. He never got to tell her he loved her. She told him but she never got an answer. What if he wasn't going to say it? What if he didn't love her?

He said she'd be okay. She wasn't.

_The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone_

_I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home_

There was a flash of blue light and Rose stumbled into the next dimension. Once regaining composer she looked around, London, England, Earth, good. Fixing her blue leather jacket she stood up straight and tasted the air, in a similar way to what the Doctor always did. Nothing seemed off; it seemed just like her home universe. Stepping out of the alleyway Rose looked around the city closer, it definitely looked like her London. She spun around a couple times, still inspecting the area, letting it sink in. She could very well be back in the same universe as the Doctor, she could be home.

A mad grin split across her face at the full realization. After hopping from dimension to dimension she finally made it. She had gotten lost so many times but Rose had found her way home. Dazed she didn't see the biker heading straight towards her or hear the calls to get out of the way.

Apologizing she helped him up and then asked, "How long has it been since Canary Warf? Metal humans and these…pepper pot looking things?"

"That was three years ago." The man said scratching his head, "It's 2010, mate."

Rose gasped, "So that happened here? Aliens in the sky on Christmas? Spaceship hits Big Ben? All of that happened in this dimension."

The man looked a little panicked, "I've got to…um…I've got to go…maybe you need help." He hopped on his bike and pedaled away at top speed. Rose didn't care though. She started jumping up and down, laughing and cheering. She had done it. She had gotten home. Now all she had to do was find the Doctor.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_with a broken heart that's still beating_

_In the pain(In the pain) there is healing_

_In your name I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on (I'm still holding), I'm holding on (I'm still holding), I'm holding on (I'm still holding),_

_I'm barely holding' on to you_

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS and spread his arms out wide, a smile on his face, "London, Earth... Solar system! See Martha, I can pilot the TARDIS quite well!"

"Let's check what year it is first," Martha said, "For all we know it could be 2000 instead of 2008."

Sticking his hands inside his pockets the Doctor shrugged, "Does it matter? We're just getting milk, do you really care if it's two years older than when you're from?"

Glaring at the Doctor, Martha explained how it wasn't the milk that mattered it was the fact that the Time Lord couldn't pilot his TARDIS. Loudly, the Doctor argued that he flew the TARDIS perfectly, it just had a mind of it's own, it's alive after all. Laughing they walked into the supermarket, Martha went straight for the milk but the Doctor got distracted by the cookie aisle. As he was shifting through the food he looked out the window and caught sight of a familiar shade of blonde hair. The Doctor froze; it couldn't be she was gone. Despite logic telling him that she couldn't be there the Doctor felt himself begin to fall apart, the constant pain he felt at the loss of Rose increasing and his breath hitch in his chest. When an arm wrapped itself around his he was dragged out of his fantasy. Martha smiled up at him and together they walked to check out. She could tell something had changed in their few minutes apart and Martha felt bad.

Walking out of the store their eyes fell onto the TARDIS. Outside of the blue box was a young blonde woman. She was wearing tight black pants, a pink shirt and a blue leather jacket that matched the shade of the TARDIS. She was carefully running a hand along the box, whispering hellos to it. Clutched in her other hand was a TARDIS key. Beside Martha the Doctor froze. Martha didn't realize his change and she marched forward to the girl.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

Rose looked up at Martha and smiled, "Just saying hello to an old friend." She opened her mouth to continue talking when her eyes fell on the Doctor. His brown eyes were glued to her, shock, joy and love were written all over his face. When their eyes met their question was validated, their other half was there. Rose slowly walked past Martha, who was in mid sentence. Then they were running. Faster than either of them had run before but it wasn't away this time, it was towards. In an instant Rose was in his arms again. He swept her off her feet swinging her around and crying into her shoulder, crying of joy. When he finally let her go he didn't have time to look her over or ask her how she got their. Taking the lapels of his suit Rose pulled him down towards and kissed him. On the sidewalk, in the middle of London, with Martha Jones as the only on looker, the Doctor and Rose were reunited. He held onto her, not letting go even when they were explaining to Martha who she was and what had happened. She held on, because he was her lifeline and she had been broken.

_I'm holdin on (I'm still holdin), I'm holding on (I'm still holdin), I'm holding on (I'm still holding),_

_I'm barely holding on to you_

They spent their forever together, the Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler. Both had been broken, both fixed each other and both held on.


End file.
